Close Encounters of the Third Kind. A Space Explorer’s (Love?) Story


No doubt today is the day florists will be making a windfall from inflating sales of a certain red flower and a nude baby boy with wings working extra shifts. To mark the occasion, I will like to share a story, an interesting one about When Harry Met Sally.

Oh btw, this will be a long post so please bear with me. I guarantee this will be thought provoking. So grab a glass of milk, some cookies and listen to me spin my tale.

Not long ago I was having a drink with a friend who shared with me his story of his first contact with someone of the opposite gender. Before going on, a brief introduction about my friend, I have known him since young. He’s pretty much a happy go lucky fellow. He watches anime, collects figures and isolates himself from the outside world. In short, perfectly normal behaviour one would expect from an otaku.

So the story goes like this, he came to know of this girl through a mutual friend. His first time befriending someone of the opposite sex. I know this sounds unbelievable. How can one not know any girls up till now? But that is really the case. Sure he has a few female friends from his college days but he has not got in touch with them for a long time.

So anyway through online messaging and a few outings, my friend find her to be extremely charming. He describes her as beautiful, talented and tomboyish yet feminine at the same time. Well I think I understand what he’s getting at. Sometimes a guy does not like a girl who is too girly. Some guys do find a girl who thinks like them and shares the same hobbies as them appealing.

Before long, I started noticing a change in him. He will go around seeking advice on how to impress girls. He will make an effort to dress up so that he leaves a good impression. After every online chat and outing, he will reflect upon himself on whether the actions and things he said are appropriate? Have he understood her better and areas to improve if he has misplaced his words. He also does silly things. But that’s all right. All boys do silly things to impress girls.

“He is changed,” I thought to myself and I am happy for him. Gone were the day the friend I used to know who waste his life away on the Internet filling his computer with useless (he says it’s good) junk. I can really see him putting in effort to study and understanding the other kind.

But through the course of his pursuit, his mind swayed and almost crossed over to the dark side. He started to have doubts about himself and began questioning his worthiness. Reason being, she is extremely talented, and he seems insignificant compared to her. I chuckled and said, “Since when must one be worthy to be one’s friend?” Surely she is not a shallow person right? I blame this on a guy’s ego cos guys being guys always want to appear superior in front of girls. Guys want to impress girls. That’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like basic instincts. So if a girl appears more capable than a guy in this case my friend, one will start to lose confidence in himself.

I asked him, “Do you like her?” He thought for a while and answered, “Yes”. To which I added, “Anything more than just liking?” This time it took him longer to answer. Eventually he replied, “It’s complicated.” As for the degree of complication, well I would not touch on that since it’s personal.

So is this Love? Well not exactly. After analysing the whole situation, I came up with a simple theory to explain this sudden change of behaviour in him. To put it simply, just imagine a space explorer who crash-landed on an alien planet and chance upon an inhabitant of this planet. Now let’s assume this particular inhabitant is friendly, pretty and has big beautiful eyes. Naturally anyone would be curious and want to get to know it better right? This is exactly the case with my dear friend.

So I told him not to be too hasty else his actions will seems too obvious it may give her the wrong ideas. Worse, cause unnecessary misunderstanding and ended up losing a friend. He agrees and said he will be mindful. I patted the lad on his back and told him it doesn’t matter if things don’t work out. It’s all part and parcel of growing up. Treat it as a learning experience in life.

Such encounter of the heart is really an amazing thing isn’t it? It changes people, for the better. Good luck my friend, you have just taken your first step into a larger world.


About sergeant gordon

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23 Responses to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. A Space Explorer’s (Love?) Story

  1. Blowfish says:

    Thats actually a pretty great description you have found for your friends state of mind.
    You may call if the first contact with the three eyed beeing.

    Aslong as your friend changes for the better and doesnt throw over his year long habits forcibly just to impress her its a great life experience for him aswell as friend standingy by and watching.

    Good Luck Space Cowboy!

  2. Blowfish says:

    Damn ive got the female anatomy wrong!
    Of course its the First Contact with the Four Eyed Beeing lol

  3. gordon says:

    hope my friend still treat me for drinks if he ever find out about this post. lol. hey at least i depict him as sazuka with the lovely Euphy-himesama. (‘~’)

    @ Blowfish,
    Four Eyed Beeing? O_O i was metaphorically speaking when i said alien. lol. ^^

  4. Blowfish says:

    well 2 pairs of eyes(one of the optical and one of the bouncing type) make four eh? ^^b

  5. chun says:

    Happy Valentine to U and your friend ;P! Sounds like your friend had a crush ^^!

  6. chun says:

    PS: sorry I hit submit before I realise my website is still to the previous link lol that link will be a while before it’s redirected ^^;

  7. Hynavian says:

    According to realists, everything can be explained simply; love is just some chemical reactions between pheromones. :X

    Have an enjoyable V-day! May love be with you! (:

  8. Kona says:

    Happy Valentine’s day, Gordon~
    I had a slightly similar experience like your friend there, but somewhere, deep inside me, I know I don’t like him, lol.
    Though, your friend might actually be liking the girl. ^^ (and might not)

  9. gordon says:

    my firend messaged me. he will still ask me out for drinks but no more secrets from now on. lol. (‘~’)

    @ Blowfish,
    lol. ya that make senses now. ^^

    @ Panther,
    just to clarify, not body contact.

    @ chun,
    ah a crush… hmm…

    @ Hynavian,
    it eluded me…

    @ Kona,
    was his action too obvious? annoying? do share!

  10. cavalock says:

    sometimes when i read bout situations like this, i can’t decide whether to laugh or cry, no offence intended. 😉 i wish your friend all the best!

    it reminds me of something a girl once asked me in disbelief when i was a teenager (bout 800 years ago), ‘do u really expect to marry the your first girlfriend?!?’ what i mean is, your friend (how old is he anyway?) shouldn’t immediately stick to just one girl, he should date more, much more, so he knows what’s out there. never marry your first girlfriend!

    u should read sgbrides forum, the Matters of the Heart thrend. lots of relationships and marriages falling apart over there! couples cheating etc. hah!

  11. Q says:

    LOL at the 去死去死團精神 on your banner…

    Back to topic: I am not familiar with the love/relationships/dating thing at all, but while having a love interest is often a good thing, I admit that one really has to prepare for one.

    Although I don’t mind people changing as a result of love interest, I do worry when they tend to ‘act’ different rather than to ‘be’ different. I think behaving naturally (and with practice perhaps so one won’t panic when going on a date) will be my preferred way if I do happen to find one I like, but now I’m just an ordinary guy, not really with a 去死去死團精神, but just wanna get on with my life I guess. :\

    Last but not least, Happy Valentines Day!

  12. Lene says:

    Coincidentally, I have an acquaintance that’s going through something similar like this (with different circumstances, but it’s still the same kind of scenario).

    Unfortunately, this person asks for advice but doesn’t take any of it into consideration. He’s one of those people that will listen to what you have to say, forget it, experience it, then asks you why you didn’t warn him about it 😦 Wahh. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the long run.

    But what you gave your friend is good advice. I approve ^^ Going too hasty may lead to not-so-good things @_@

  13. “Guys want to impress girls. That’s nothing wrong with that.”
    …except when their teenage egos cause them to drive 60 mph in a 35 zone and run red lights. >.>
    WAIT, uh, nevermind about that, just some not-so-fond memories. ^^;

    You gave your friend some good advice. Hope things will work out well for him!

  14. Persocom says:

    Sounds a lot like a friend of mine’s situation, only he thinks he’s falling in love. This also reminds me that I, even though I don’t need help with the female kind, need to get out of the house and associate more with those mysterious beings known as humans. You gave good advice ^^ Also like the picture you used, never saw it until now.

  15. marvinryan says:

    I do hope your friend and the girl he has a crush on wouldn’t find this post. ^^; wishing him the best. and hope you all had a good valentines day. ^^

  16. andra says:

    Sounds like he over rely on the girl since he has never been so close to a girl before in that many many moons and makes me kind of doubt that is ir truly love or just a form of support. ARRGGHHH. whatever. This kind of thingy ish very very complicated!! ^^;

  17. Mimi says:

    Wow Gordon.. never would’ve looked at it in that perspective. ^^ He did learn from the experience and it’s all a part of life.

    Honestly old Mimi would’ve said that it’s tragic that her intelligence/talent of all traits ended the relationship. But you made a great analogy to the new space encounter. It’s all a natural part of life.

  18. gordon says:

    @ cavalock,
    my friend is an otaku so it’s impossible for him to “date more, much more” as u mention. he’s over the hill he gets to know this one girl so he really cherish the chance.

    @ Q,
    lol i think u are the only few who managed to catch the banner which appeared very briefty.

    @ Lene,
    thanks for sharing. ^^;

    @ Coco the Bean,
    wow at your experience. O_O thanks, i’ll thank my friend that.

    @ Persocom,
    susaku and euphy-himesama is such a lovely couple.

    @ marvin,
    that’s ok.

    @ andra,
    yes it is complicated.

    @ Mimi,
    lol u are not old and nice wig. (‘~’)

  19. Kona says:

    Lol, sorry, the guy I thought I liked or your friend? XD

  20. gordon says:

    @ Kona,
    the guy u thought u like. do share, if possible. or e-mail/msn. ^^;

  21. Kona says:

    Hahaha, sure. You can add the one which I am using for this comment. My previous one got scammed…lol

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