No doubt today is the day florists will be making a windfall from inflating sales of a certain red flower and a nude baby boy with wings working extra shifts. To mark the occasion, I will like to share a story, an interesting one about When Harry Met Sally.
Oh btw, this will be a long post so please bear with me. I guarantee this will be thought provoking. So grab a glass of milk, some cookies and listen to me spin my tale.
Not long ago I was having a drink with a friend who shared with me his story of his first contact with someone of the opposite gender. Before going on, a brief introduction about my friend, I have known him since young. He’s pretty much a happy go lucky fellow. He watches anime, collects figures and isolates himself from the outside world. In short, perfectly normal behaviour one would expect from an otaku.
So the story goes like this, he came to know of this girl through a mutual friend. His first time befriending someone of the opposite sex. I know this sounds unbelievable. How can one not know any girls up till now? But that is really the case. Sure he has a few female friends from his college days but he has not got in touch with them for a long time.
So anyway through online messaging and a few outings, my friend find her to be extremely charming. He describes her as beautiful, talented and tomboyish yet feminine at the same time. Well I think I understand what he’s getting at. Sometimes a guy does not like a girl who is too girly. Some guys do find a girl who thinks like them and shares the same hobbies as them appealing.
Before long, I started noticing a change in him. He will go around seeking advice on how to impress girls. He will make an effort to dress up so that he leaves a good impression. After every online chat and outing, he will reflect upon himself on whether the actions and things he said are appropriate? Have he understood her better and areas to improve if he has misplaced his words. He also does silly things. But that’s all right. All boys do silly things to impress girls.
“He is changed,” I thought to myself and I am happy for him. Gone were the day the friend I used to know who waste his life away on the Internet filling his computer with useless (he says it’s good) junk. I can really see him putting in effort to study and understanding the other kind.
But through the course of his pursuit, his mind swayed and almost crossed over to the dark side. He started to have doubts about himself and began questioning his worthiness. Reason being, she is extremely talented, and he seems insignificant compared to her. I chuckled and said, “Since when must one be worthy to be one’s friend?” Surely she is not a shallow person right? I blame this on a guy’s ego cos guys being guys always want to appear superior in front of girls. Guys want to impress girls. That’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like basic instincts. So if a girl appears more capable than a guy in this case my friend, one will start to lose confidence in himself.
I asked him, “Do you like her?” He thought for a while and answered, “Yes”. To which I added, “Anything more than just liking?” This time it took him longer to answer. Eventually he replied, “It’s complicated.” As for the degree of complication, well I would not touch on that since it’s personal.
So is this Love? Well not exactly. After analysing the whole situation, I came up with a simple theory to explain this sudden change of behaviour in him. To put it simply, just imagine a space explorer who crash-landed on an alien planet and chance upon an inhabitant of this planet. Now let’s assume this particular inhabitant is friendly, pretty and has big beautiful eyes. Naturally anyone would be curious and want to get to know it better right? This is exactly the case with my dear friend.
So I told him not to be too hasty else his actions will seems too obvious it may give her the wrong ideas. Worse, cause unnecessary misunderstanding and ended up losing a friend. He agrees and said he will be mindful. I patted the lad on his back and told him it doesn’t matter if things don’t work out. It’s all part and parcel of growing up. Treat it as a learning experience in life.
Such encounter of the heart is really an amazing thing isn’t it? It changes people, for the better. Good luck my friend, you have just taken your first step into a larger world.