As one reaches a certain age, one will start questioning oneself about various stuffs like directions, self-worthiness and emotions. It is a cross-junction in life where major decisions are to be made.
(Please bear with me as this is going to be a long post)
General observations from a boy’s point of view.
Pre Quarter Life Crisis
A young lad in Singapore in his early 20s, fresh out of college, is on equal footing with those around him. Everyone has the same education qualification. There is no stress, no competition and no rivalry. Then comes National Service, everyone starts out with the same rank. However as one progresses through army, some of your buddies may achieve higher ranks. But usually that is not a big issue as National Service is only 2 years, most lads do not really care about ranks (some do), they are more concern about surviving the conscription in one piece and enjoying life outside uniform.
So we fast-forward time 2 years later after been discharged from the Army. This is where a young adult will start to face the real world. Some will choose to further their studies in the hope that with a better paper qualification means a better career. Some will forgo further education, find a job and joins the rat race. Then there will also be some who are uncertain as to what they want and choose to bum around instead.
So we fast-forward time again to a few years later. Those who opt for university studies will have graduated and perhaps found a job, hopefully in a good position and with a decent salary. This is the point in time where everybody is different now. No longer are they the same classmates you have in school where everyone is of equivalent status. Everyone now has different job, different position and different career paths. Furthermore as one step into society, one will get to meet more people through work or mutual friends. The common topic of discussion during gatherings will be no doubt be about one’s work. One must say that although life is not all about dollars and cents, but still uncertainty and lack of confidence might surface after knowing someone who is around your age, be it your friend, second degree friends, third degree friends are doing financially better. Peers’ influence as one calls it, where one tends to lose self-esteem or even look down on oneself.
In addition to that, the stress of daily work, worthless office politics and insecurity about one’s future may prompt some to feel nostalgic, dwelling upon the carefree days of yesteryears, of one’s school life and teenage hood where one does not have a care in the world.
Perhaps the most important aspect of quarter life crisis. Everyone needs companionship, in this case love. Some lucky ones might get plenty of it while some none at all. As one gets older, one will find it harder to acquire it. Girls in mid to late twenties are unlike teenage girls who easily fall for romantic guys. No doubt it is an advantage if one is romantic, humorous and sensitive, which I guess are characteristics most girls will look for in a guy. But generally girls in this age group will also look for stability as well. For example they might not care that you are a stormtrooper in the world’s coolest costuming group. Bringing home the bacon matters too.
Secondly some might come with baggage, an unhappy experience from a previous failed romance. Guys always had it easy. Most guys seem to be able move on to a new relationship with ease but girls often hold deeper attachment in a relationship so it takes longer time for them to heal and forget. This may leave them cautious of future guys they meet thus making it harder for the new boy to impress and win her. It’s a challenge on the new boy’s part. But hey if new boy really likes her, it just means that he has to try harder now wouldn’t he? I always believe hard work do pay off.
Do or do not, there is no try
I suppose the header picture of Luke looking at the twin settling suns on Tatooine best describe today’s discussion. Luke is an idealistic farm boy who dreams of seeing the world but he is torn between his dreams and looking after his aging uncle/aunt and helping out with the harvest. Things took a dramatic twist when his uncle and aunt are killed and Luke has to take destiny into his own hands.
I hope this article is not too depressing. I believe everyone will experience quarter life crisis at one point of time in his or her life. Unless one is truly optimistic, this is something we all have to overcome. We make our own future so take destiny in our own hands like what Luke has done. Cheers.
(P.S. I hope Lucasfilm don’t sue me for using that Tatooine pic. Btw there’s no evidence implying that the Sandtroopers killed Luke’s uncle and aunt. See the truth here.)